For Vancouver Pride I was given the opportunity to share a excerpt from a poem for a public art installation. Below is the poem in its entirety. Thank you so much to Downtown Van and Vancouver Poetry House for the opportunity to share this work. Follow the link below for more information!
Pride
this is a poem for the queers who don’t feel seen:
today when reaching for a question mark
the hairline fracture in my phone screen replaced it with a pride flag
as if to say, no question
this degree of certainty came as a surprise to me
there are parts I have kept under scrutiny
for so long the edges blurred and bled out
until no one sure if it was real or a trick of the light
just the sun in their eyes
this poem is for those who hide a part of who they are
whose hearts are divided into should and shouldn’t
into would and wouldn’t
into uncertainty instilled
by a parent/ hometown/ hunger/ god
that undermines their freedom to a basic expression of love
this poem is for those who have refused to do anything
frozen on a knife’s edge
all tiptoe tightrope walker
toeing the line of between fearful and fulfilled
between vilified and validated
suspended somewhere over a dilapidated sense of “supposed to”
and a great big fear of hurting someone
I have been tentative for so long
there were so many questions I didn’t have answers to
this is for those who don’t have the answers
so convince themselves that they are not real
that part of them is something they dreamed up
that their love is figment is filament
has never really burned bright enough to see
the thing is I don’t need anyone
to red tape rubber stamp seal of approval my sexuality
this is click boom certainty
so try me
this potential for love expands infinitely
so I dare you to keep trolling this love story
this is for those who get flagged as excuse-making
tagged as experimenting
tell me how trendy I’m being
that I just haven’t met the right guy
or I’m scared closet dyke
just can’t make up my mind
I can take it
I have lived safely under curlicue canopy of question mark for so long
protected by my own lack of proof
this is for the ones like me who you ask for receipts from
love-
I see you.
I see that flicker in your chest
I recognize it
I have tasted that fear
that fear that this part of you unrealized and white-knuckled
may never have been true in the first place
that maybe you’ll try and wake up having hurt somebody
you’ve been tried on for size so many times before
-why would you risk doing that to another human being?
this is scary
this whole being thing.
this being whole thing.
but you
You are real-
not puppet or plaything
not hallucinating anything
and no matter how they try
they cannot take your truth from you
truth as tangible as fingertips
not a question mark a pride flag
Love, hold my hand
have the audacity to stand with me
here in the streets screaming look at me
look at us
here we are
this is real
yowl it loudly
or hold it quietly
it is ours- we do not owe them anything
but they will know without question-
we are here and filled with pride.
SJ’s Chap Book Debut Little Rebellions is now available online!
Little Rebellions by SJ Valiquette, cover art by Delaney Tesch.
Available online at:
https://www.blurb.com/b/9190299-little-rebellions
Or contact for a signed copy mailed to you personally!